Tuesday 16 July 2013

Chapter 1.8: Pandora Status: Still a Bitch


   With great displeasure, Pandora hauled herself out of bed. She looked over at the lump in the duvet that was her husband hiding in warmth and sneered. Ever since that bloody cat had died, he had been inconsolable. Okay, so it only happened last night, but still! It was a cat! It was hardly like one of the babies had died, jeez!


   Speaking of...
   She headed into the nursery and lifted up Varius, who balled his fists and opened his mouth in a wide O to scream.


   She caught a whiff of something unpleasant and grimaced. At that moment, Varius then began giggling to himself.
   '...Damn kid,' Pandora grumbled. She placed Varius back in his crib after he had been tended to and dumped Renatus on the floor with a bottle before going downstairs to do a few boring chores like checking the mail - and hoping for a letter from Wogan, even though she would never admit it to herself - and practising some magic. She realised her husband had awoken when she heard an anguished wail.


   The heartbreak of losing his precious pet had unsurprisingly not abated overnight. Renatus toddled into his parents' room, unnoticed by Ignatius.


   This time, her conversion ritual turned a piece of fruit into a hunk of copper.


   Unimpressed, she was about to give it another go, when Ignatius came downstairs and decided to console himself with ice cream.
   'Fucking seriously?' she spat. 'You're acting like a teenage girl who got dumped because your cat died?!


   'Do you not realise how pathetic that is?!' she continued, when Ignatius ignored her venom. 'God.'


   A swish of magic. The copper disappeared, and was replaced with...
   '...Horse food? Oh great. Some people get awesome things like WooHooium or Mummitomium, and I get horse food. Here, give it to your dumb dead cat,' Pandora said, and threw it at Ignatius.


   Not in the mood for anything remotely constructive, especially with his wife doing her best to make him feel worse, Ignatius sat himself down on the sofa, hoping to numb his mind with some brainless programme. Unfortunately, Pandora sat beside him to prattle on.


   'Is this all you're going to do all day? Just sulk and watch game shows? Newsflash! Cats aren't people! Why do you care? I mean, if it was one of the kids I could understand that, at least kids take nine months to get a new one, but a fucking cat? Let's just go down to the bloody pet store! You'll forget about that mangy stray in no time!'


   To his credit, Ignatius refused to rise to her insensitivity, which served to annoy her further. She got up, grabbed the thrown piece of horse granola and put it on the table, turning it into a seed while glaring daggers at her husband.
   She only stopped when she heard the sounds of crying from upstairs, and turned her eyes momentarily toward the staircase.
   'You gonna get that?' she gruffly barked.
   'He's probably hungry,' Ignatius flatly responded.
   'Father of the motherfucking year right here! Husband of the motherfucking year. Pfeh, lump of the year, more like,' she poisonously hissed as she stamped her heels up the steps.


   'Shut up baby.'

   'There. Nice carpet. Change of scenery. You can look at the ceiling from an even bigger distance. Aren't I a great mum?'
   It became obvious after a minute or so that Varius had not started crying because he was hungry, stinky or in need of sleep, but rather he was about to go through the aging process. He sat up, still shrouded in his deathly tight blue blanket and blossomed into a toddler.


   Eyes closed, he looked pleased with himself, as his dark hair grew. It also became obvious that Pandora's "great mothering" of putting him on a lit oven had left its mark, as his burn scars grew more obvious.


   His dark eyes fluttered open again, as he looked around the room. Something was different! He felt funny. A good funny, but funny nonetheless. His small face broke out in a grin.

   The next day, Ignatius forced himself to do more with the children if only to shut up his wife.


   When they went into the boys' bedroom, another devastating wave of grief washed over him. He stopped for a moment, clutching a hand to his broken heart, as Renatus practised his best menacing stare over the top of the crib at his back.


   'Shut up! Shut up! Just shut the fuck up!' Pandora screamed.


   When he thought he could carry on again without bursting into more tears, Ignatius gently picked up his burnt son, gritting his teeth at his scars, resentment growing further at Pandora. Irresponsible bitch, he thought.


   Jumping back into her bedclothes for some inexplicable reason - Ignatius did not care to ask - she plonked her new toddler on the single potty in the scarcely decorated nursery, as Renatus shrieked.


   'Mumumumum,' Varius gabbled. He went ignored.


   Downstairs, and dressed again, because Pandora apparently was incapable of making the decision of what to wear for the day, she cast a quick good luck charm on herself. Feeling the effects immediately, she reached for her mobile phone and stabbed in a number.
   'Hey, Wogan? It's Pando-'
   Before she was even able to finish, the line had cut dead. She glared at her phone. So much for being luckier! Ugh.
   Her stomach grumbled, but the thought of another plastic tasting carton of synthetic blood did not appeal.


   She found Ignatius, and put him under her spell. Her eyes glowed beyond the brightness they had adorned since her transformation, and Ignatius became more...suggestible.


   He proffered his wrist to her when she stated she was hungry, which she rejected.


   That tasty jugular was so much juicier...


   Ignatius instinctively flinched when her elongated fangs punctured skin, and did not finish grimacing until the eerie sensation of being fed upon ceased.


   A little woozy, he peered at her with the expression of the terminally unintelligent.


   'Much better...' Pandora grinned. Peculiarly, she had felt a spark of magic between the two of them as she fed, and as she gazed into his dopey eyes, it intensified.


   Acting, but not thinking, she and Ignatius drew towards one another at the same time. Their arms intertwining around each other, Ignatius moved his face closer.


   He pressed his lips to hers, kissing her softly, sweetly. She returned the gesture, injecting more passion into it, until they were fully making out in the middle of the bedroom.
   'Wow...' he gasped, his heart lifting.
   'Wow,' Pandora repeated, stunned by the unexpected flourish of love she felt for the man she had previously screamed insults at. She was about to take him by the hand and pin him to the bed, when a little two legged curly haired person crawled in.
   Renatus wobbled over on his stubby legs before falling on his backside and applauded himself.


   'Mummy! Daddy!' he called.


   He got up to his feet, sturdier than before, as he underwent a similar transition to what his little brother recently experienced.


   He looked rather like a horrifying abomination for a brief moment, as his body tried to adjust to the transformation from toddler to child.


   Thankfully once his temporary Slenderman-esque figure had corrected itself, he looked far more normal. In spite of being the child of the de Ventias' with serious eyebrows, anyway.


   His proud parents - or perhaps more accurately, his proud father - immediately "splurged" on upgrading the nursery.


   ...And the garage.


   With pyjamas more fitting to his taste, that evening Renatus decided to put his newfound height, improved motor skills and speech to good use. By creeping up behind his mother and screeching.


   'Jesus fucking Christ!' Pandora yelled.


   'Don't fucking do that, you little asshole! Piss off upstairs!'
   A child for only a few hours and already angry at his mother, Renatus stomped up, wishing his dad did not have to work nights.

   The rest of the night went somewhat peacefully by a Pandora sloped off to bed.


   So she did not notice the odd cluster of specks around the bottom of the stairs.


   Something quickly formed from them, and floated through the sofa.


   Benedict's ghost let out an otherworldly meow, and leapt up on the table he used to sleep on.


   He looked around the familiar living room from his height, and jumped off again. When he moved, he was slightly hunched, his paws floating just above the wooden floor.


   As indecisive as Pandora, he leapt onto the table again, and curled up into a tight little ball, snoring gently. He was still there when an exhausted Ignatius returned from work.
   Already tired before he even went out, spending what should have been his time to sleep doing Wogan's bidding meant that by the time he eventually made it through the front door, it was a struggle to keep his eyes open. He could have happily slept on the floor, and probably would have if his back would not scream at him for it the next day. There was enough screaming in the house already thanks to his ball and chain.
   Subsequently, he traipsed reluctantly upstairs, oblivious to the slumbering ghost of his pet.

AN: I'M BACK, MOTHERFUCKERS!

I'm so so so sorry for being gone for so long. It's been kinda shitty over here in BL00DIEDHELL land:
*Depression/motivational issues - check
*Walking memory stick with un-uploaded legacy pictures - check (thank fuck for my housemate who isn't stupid and can find things that are actually under her nose!)
*Computer issues - check. It's a zombie. It died and hasn't been used for a couple of weeks ish. Today while I was on the laptop, it uhh...it turned itself on. Seriously. And then it fucked up again and turned back off. Zombie computer
*Laptop issues - check. I think I've got it under control, but it did give me a lot of stress and worry for a few days.

So yes, that's why I've been absent, moreso the first reason than anything else and I've been very much aware of my lack of posting. Big big big big apologies for it :(.

And thanks to gemly_teddie for giving me a kick via MTS PMs. It was appreciated. :)

7 comments:

  1. Welcome back

    Pandora really is an appalling wife & mother and I shudder to think what those two boys are going to wind up like - although I did rather like Renatus scaring his horrible mother!

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    1. Thank you. :)

      And HAH yeah! Renatus is already a better human being than Pandora is just by scaring the shit out of her. I highly doubt it'll be the last time he pisses his terrible, TERRIBLE mother off either.

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  2. Yay! You're back!

    Oh Pandora. Quit taking your jilted love frustrations out on Iggy. Then again, he kind of invites it doesn't he?

    And loved Renatus giving Pandora what she was due! *snickers I foresee a lot of fun coming up. Will Varius be as awful, too?

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    1. I'd agree that he invites it most of the time, but his poor kitty done died! Pandora leave him alone ffs.

      And yeah, Varius will probably not be entirely pleasant either. Not gonna give away too much about the kids naturally, but I think it goes without saying they're gonna be dicks. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree...!

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  3. Hehe, well, y'no. Some people just need a kick up the backside and/or a pep-talk ;)

    Love the family dynamics, still as insane as ever, I see. Can't wait to see how the kids end up after growing up in this family! Seems Renatus has inherited something from his mother.

    What was that?! Was that a sign of... Of... Love?! Woah, steady on there!! :p


    Bit sad that Iggy is so depressed over Benedicts death, and I hope he gets to see his ghost soon. Maybe it'll give him some closure.

    Welcome back! We missed you! :)

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    1. Pep kick. :P

      Okay, I have a confession to make. Clicked Pandora. Charm. Good luck charm. No evident failure (as there bloody shouldn't be since she has magic hands! ...Giggity). Random encounter with Igs and FULL BLOWN MAKING OUT HOLY SHIT WHAT.

      Turns out Captain Cockbrains over here accidentally made Pandora cast a LOVE charm on herself. I am not smart.

      Yeah :( he'll be lightening up in the next couple of updates (or as much as possible, with that wife). The heartbroken moodlet's nearly run out. Still, poor sod. As for Benedict's ghost, as far as gameplay's concerned, he's already seen him. Before I took that shot of him arriving home, Ignatius got through the door and did the OH GOD NO GROSS GHOST *HAND FLAIL* animation. Iiiii thought not noticing him there worked better than OH SHIT MY BELOVED PET IS BACK, FUCK THAT NOISE.

      And thank you! :)

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  4. Late to the party, but welcome baaaccckkk!

    Gawd, Pandora is a horrible person. I'm intrigued to see what kind of people her children grow into living in that hell hole.

    I hope that Benedict and Ignatius have a reunion, slow running to each other through a field of sunflowers and all (what? too much?). :P

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